


Are You There, God? It’s Me, Chuck Shurley

by ellerkay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comedy, Gen, I just wanted them to meet other Chuck, because I do not care, kind of cracky, meta joke, no explanation for the setup, other dimensions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 23:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerkay/pseuds/ellerkay
Summary: Sam and Dean find themselves in another dimension and meet a Chuck who is not God.





	Are You There, God? It’s Me, Chuck Shurley

**Author's Note:**

> Set at a somewhat indeterminate point, but definitely after S13E10.

“How the hell are we going to get back _this_ time?” Dean demanded, as he and Sam walked down the nondescript suburban street, in this other dimension where they’d suddenly found themselves.

“I don’t know,” Sam replied wearily.

“We don’t even have wheels, with the Impala stuck back home,” Dean lamented. He kissed two fingers and pointed them skyward, looking up. “I miss you, Baby.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Hey, do you think this one has dinosaurs, too?” Dean asked.

“Doesn’t really look like it,” Sam said, glancing around. “Looks more or less like ours.” He frowned. “Actually, this looks kind of kind of familiar…Wait. Isn’t this where – ”

“Oh, no,” came a voice to their right. Sam and Dean looked to see Chuck standing in the doorway of the house he’d lived when they met him, or one that looked just like it. He was in his bathrobe, holding a coffee mug, and he looked terrified.

“It’s never good when you two show up,” he continued.

Dean frowned at him. “What the hell are you doing here, man?” he said. “I thought you and Amara were going off to tour the cosmos or whatever.”

“What? Who?” Chuck looked bewildered. He backed up a couple steps into the house as Sam and Dean mounted the steps and walked towards him. “Hey, hey, guys, look, it’s not that I don’t want to see you, I just…I really don’t want to see you. Nothing personal! But you bring horror and death with you wherever you go and I just can’t take it right now.”

“Dude,” Dean scoffed. “There’s really no need to lay on the Chuck persona so thick. You know we know.”

“Know _what_?” Chuck said. “Persona? What are you talking about? Wait, how did I not know you two were coming? What I wrote this morning had you in New Orleans.”

“Eating a muffuletta, I hope,” Dean said. “Wait, you’re still writing the books? Why?”

“We’re not this dimension’s Sam and Dean,” Sam put in, before Chuck could answer. He frowned at Chuck, puzzled. “You must have known that.”

“What? Not this dimension’s – how was I supposed to know that?” Chuck turned to Dean. “As for your question, if I don’t write the books, an angel in a pantsuit shows up in my dreams once a week and yells at me. Something about the 18 to 40 demographic, I don’t know. So even though you – or this dimension’s you, or whatever – won’t let me publish so I can use that money to pay my rent and feed myself – I still write in my spare time.” He glared up at them.

Dean looked at Sam. Sam shrugged.

“Maybe he hasn’t told the us that live here?” Sam said. “It’s probably hard to keep track of all the dimensions of the multiverse, even for him…” He looked back at Chuck. “It’s okay. You don’t have to keep this up. We’re the Sam and Dean that already know you’re God.”

Chuck emitted a high-pitched scream and dropped his coffee mug.

***

Five minutes later, Sam and Dean were depositing shards of coffee cup into Chuck’s kitchen garbage can. Chuck was sitting in an armchair where Sam had led him, knees pulled up to his chest, staring off into the distance with wide eyes.

“I don’t know, man,” Dean said in a low voice. “Maybe he’s just really method. Like how Jared Leto was a huge douche when he was playing the Joker, right?”

“I really don’t think so,” Sam replied. He filled a glass with water from the tap and brought it to Chuck, who accepted it and took a drink mechanically. Dean double-checked the hallway for pieces of broken mug and then joined them. Sam and Dean both sat down on the couch.

“I can’t believe I’m God,” Chuck moaned.

“Chuck – “ Sam started.

“It’s what I always thought! When you two first showed up – and the angels, they lied to me! A prophet, _come on_. Were they in on it?! Zachariah threatened me! If I’m God, does that mean I can fire him? I had nightmares for a month after his visit!”

“Look, Chuck – ” Dean tried.

“Why don’t I remember being God?” Chuck barreled on, his voice getting higher and higher. “You’d think that would be the kind of thing an omniscient being would remember!...Oh, my God – I mean, me – I must be so bad at it! I’m not cut out to be God! I once almost had a panic attack trying to decide on pizza toppings! Oh, the world is such a mess, and I have no idea how to fix it. Is that why I made myself forget?”

“CHUCK!” Dean shouted. Chuck stared at him, mouth hanging open.

“The Chuck in our dimension was God,” Sam said gently. “But it doesn’t really seem like you are. He went off with his sister – ”

“God has a sister?!” Chuck’s voice was approaching a pitch only dogs would be able to hear.

“It’s a whole thing,” Dean put in. “Try not to worry about it.”

“Yeah, sorry, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it,” Sam said. “Can you take some deep breaths for me?”

Chuck nodded and closed his eyes, his short, panicky breaths changing into long, slow ones.

“Well, I guess he’s not going to be able to just zap us back to our world,” Dean said to Sam.

Chuck’s eyes flew open. “Oh!” he said. “No, there’s actually a really easy spell you – I mean, the you I know – figured out last year. See?” He said three words in what sounded like Enochian and snapped his fingers –

 – and Sam and Dean found themselves where they’d vanished, standing next to the Impala, which was pulled over on the side of a dusty highway. They looked at each other.

“Are we back?” Dean asked.

“Um…oh!” Sam studied the ground for a moment. “Yeah. Near as I can tell. Before we got pulled there, I’d just spit out a peppermint Life Saver I decided I didn’t want after all, and it’s right here.”

“Okay.” Dean drummed on the Impala’s roof with his fingers. “Hey, is it me, or did that seem…”

“Too easy?” Sam finished. “Yeah. Way too easy.”

They looked around for a moment.

“Do…do you think that was God?” Sam asked, hesitantly.

“Right? I was wondering the same damn thing.” Dean glared at nothing in particular. “Why would he have pretended to not know he was God, though? Just to fuck with us?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said. “Method acting, like you said? Or…well, if he _is_ God, he’s supposed to be ineffable, isn’t he? Unknowable, by definition.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said, yanking the driver’s side door open. “Fuck you, Chuck. Let’s get out of here.” He got into the car and slammed the door shut.

Sam remained standing outside for another moment. “Thanks, Chuck,” he said, very quietly, so Dean wouldn’t hear.

Just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> This got written because of my ongoing mixed feelings about Chuck-as-God (the fanon never really worked for me, but its execution when it became canon was delightful, even though I still think it doesn't make a ton of sense). Anyway, I thought it would be hilarious for a Chuck who wasn't God to be told he was God. I wasn't planning to be so ambiguous about whether the AU Chuck was God after all, but I kinda like how it ended up anyway.


End file.
